Anna lives on

Strange title, and even stranger thoughts.  Today was a Siberian day in Montreal, full of blowing snow and freezing wind.  But still, we plodded along, the lonely Chrismas shoppers.
At least on St. Lawrence street, people look at each other, and sometimes hold the gaze for more than 2 seconds, to show that they are there after all, to acknowledge each other's existence.
The studio was full of Christmas gifts that the real Santa brought. I don't know how he got in, but gifts were everywhere and the plants and artwork seemed happy. The paintings were luminous and I realised that I had talent which will probably never earn any real money while I'm alive. The only people that buy my work are loyal friends and N, whom I consider king Midas, because everything he touches turns to gold.  Maybe that means that my paintings will go up in value because he's buying them?
In any case, my latest pastel of Nelly with the vines looks good, but I don't know what it means...is it the memory of her, or her memory of me, or my memory of Sarajevo?  That is why I thought about Anna.  In my mind she is still alive.  I never read the last chapter and I will not.  That is the beauty of books...you don't have to read everything, and the beauty in life is that you can imagine everything you wish. The beauty in painting is that you can see and know more than the artist does.

Mother Russia is still Alive

Today was supposed to be the first day of the end and it was supposed to begin in Russia! 
From what I understand, Mother Russia is still alive, and we are still awaiting the deadly fireworks, the deafening darkness and the eventual promise of another reality in the future. 
Who wants the same old, same old,...getting up every day, going to work....little chores...grey walls...clutter of years...unsorted papers...small souls...there must be more, different...something that will answer our questions, something that will surpass our basic need, our emotions, our desires, our logic and reason! Something truthful must await and need no explanation....like the moments in which I paint, when the brush seems to move on its own, controlled by my hand, which in turn is controlled by the force of life!  That force is named the subconscious in modern times, but is more like the universal consciousness which Edgar Cayce propagated.  He said it before computers, and he was obviously onto something!  We should all plug into the universal consciousness to become better entities of our own existence.
There is still light, regardless of the predictions.  Maybe the change is something more subtle, which we know not, yet?  Maybe Igor and the force of creation will show us a prism of color, yet unseen!?
In any case, I must go to the studio tomorrow and draw my one line, paint my one hue....be true...

The World hasn't ended yet!

It's a great feeling to know that we are still alive...I didn't really think that we would die yet, but just in case...I didn't do anything!  Igor, my dearest brother, a true genius and saint gave me courage to face the new day and say, "I will not die today, I will face another Montreal winter, another crazy Christmas shopping spree at Rockland and  Marche Centrale,  another horde of dark haired Montrealers who complain about everthing, another year of living and creating!

December 20 2012

Some say that Today is the last day! I can't wait to go to the studio and paint!  If it's my last painting, at least I will create something.  Of course I don't beleive that it will be the end of the world, but it makes me think that we should live each day fully!

It was Igor's parastos yesterday and I feel that the love he posessed was definitely all around and within!  Let's see what colors today brings!

I think Igor is in Google Chrome

I just went to see Igor's perpetual obituaruy page and it suggested I install google chrome for better access.  I did, and this time, it worked!  After all my tries at installing google chrome, I had to have help from a spirit?  It looks like Igor gave me the answer that I've been looking for...he is here and he is i google chrome, at least was...to help out.  How will he show himself and help next?

So here I am, writing freely on my blog again!!! It feels wonderful!  I am so overwhelmed that I have nothing to say for the moment.  It is cold and sloshy in Montreal this december 18 going on 19th 1012.

My next wild painting will commence on Thursday with model Nelly and I will post photos now that I can! Love this blog....!!!

Impossible Blogger

It just took me 10 minutes to access my blog.  I wanted to edit the previous one, but impossible.  There is nothing to do but ask an expert.  Where will I find the expert?  Maybe V sometime this year?   I sent a message to blogger support and they answered back a few days later in French!  Since I  speak and understand french,  I read the completely useless and redundant advice; that I could access my blog through my gmail account!  Anyways, I still can't put any photos up.  I am doing a new (oil) portrait of S, a lovely girl of Korean origin with an absolutely inspiring aura. If the Sun continues this week, the portrait should be done...it is full of color.  It just needs to be slightly lightened while keeping the vibrance of tone.  You can feel the heat in the painting!

I was finally able to access my last blog and fix the spelling mistake. Everything has to be done roundabout in this blogger.com.  I really don't know the reason...is it my computer...my tech-unsavyness...lack of software?  You'd think that I was a Serb in Quebec:)   

August in Montreal

Well July didn't last...it's already a memory,...as this day will, tomorrow be! 
I have painted flowers and mountains this August, worked in the garden and gone to Ottawa to see Van Gogh.  His paintings are softer and more "feminine" than I remember them being from the last time that I saw his work in France. It was a perfect show to see in August with all of its warmth and sunshine...I am definitely inspired...must go paint now....