Still January

This month has flown by and I still haven't finished my 2 floral portraits of V and N.  The new painting of S is going very well and I don't think that I will add any color to it.  I know the title already and hope it will be ready for the show, if there is a show.  I feel a strange silence....wintery, strange, siberian, serbian, silence.  Even the painting speaks of silence,... I imagined it to be peace. Is peace silent?  I will see tomorrow.  Now it's time to say goodbye to January and St. Jovan and St. Sava.

Heeding the Paintings

I noticed a long time ago that the paintings seem to carry premonitions, messages,  It sometimes becomes evident to me later on.  Now, I like to paint a painting before I embark on a new journey,... it shows me the shapes and colors of the path and of the outcome.  I had no idea that even the flowers did that...It's probably my subconscious working through the art mediums.  I feel that I have to add more glowing orange to the background of the exotic flowers, but only enough to retain the warmth of the background.  I will also add a bit of red madder to the flowers themselves to soften them.  I have to find the name of those flowers.  The title must have the word, memory, in it.  Funny, how titles change and can be many at the same time.  A painting can have layers of meaning, beginning with the subjective and sometines blending with the universal. 
I was happy to meet Z in my studio.  Z seems to understand a lot about art...very perceptive and intelligent, even inspiring!  I am already thinking of a portrait composition...Have to do some research on bears and bulls.  So far I have painted a cat, quite by chance, and sketched a dog and some horses. I've always wanted to do something with animals and people on the same canvas....so little time for all the ideas...Tomorrow I will begin a new painting of S. 

Montreal Winter Light

When it's sunny in the studio, it doesn't matter how cold it is outside....there is a beautiful winter light that penetrates and makes one feel they are in another place....all the plants make it feel tropical.
This week I have been painting the exotic flowers I got for my birthday...in deep greens reds and oranges....it all adds to the tropical feel.

Surviving the Snow Storm in December, 2012

Today is so beautiful and sunny, full of white snow everywhere.  It's hard to imagine what it was like yesterday!  I spent some time outside with a shovel yesterday and helped a neighbor.  There was blowing snow everywhere and we were all dressed in snow gear.  I didn't have ski pants and my woolen leggings were full of sticky snow.  Cars were stuck all over the place and I didn't dare try to go to the studio.  Nurses crossing the Mercier bridge, to go to work, had police escort, since the bridge was closed off. Everyone else tried to call in sick or take the day off.  Only the hardiest went out, or those that were forced to. 

Today is full of beauty and bright invitation, a real Montreal winter day! The paintings in the studio are even more luminous in the winter light!

Anna lives on

Strange title, and even stranger thoughts.  Today was a Siberian day in Montreal, full of blowing snow and freezing wind.  But still, we plodded along, the lonely Chrismas shoppers.
At least on St. Lawrence street, people look at each other, and sometimes hold the gaze for more than 2 seconds, to show that they are there after all, to acknowledge each other's existence.
The studio was full of Christmas gifts that the real Santa brought. I don't know how he got in, but gifts were everywhere and the plants and artwork seemed happy. The paintings were luminous and I realised that I had talent which will probably never earn any real money while I'm alive. The only people that buy my work are loyal friends and N, whom I consider king Midas, because everything he touches turns to gold.  Maybe that means that my paintings will go up in value because he's buying them?
In any case, my latest pastel of Nelly with the vines looks good, but I don't know what it means...is it the memory of her, or her memory of me, or my memory of Sarajevo?  That is why I thought about Anna.  In my mind she is still alive.  I never read the last chapter and I will not.  That is the beauty of books...you don't have to read everything, and the beauty in life is that you can imagine everything you wish. The beauty in painting is that you can see and know more than the artist does.

Mother Russia is still Alive

Today was supposed to be the first day of the end and it was supposed to begin in Russia! 
From what I understand, Mother Russia is still alive, and we are still awaiting the deadly fireworks, the deafening darkness and the eventual promise of another reality in the future. 
Who wants the same old, same old,...getting up every day, going to work....little chores...grey walls...clutter of years...unsorted papers...small souls...there must be more, different...something that will answer our questions, something that will surpass our basic need, our emotions, our desires, our logic and reason! Something truthful must await and need no explanation....like the moments in which I paint, when the brush seems to move on its own, controlled by my hand, which in turn is controlled by the force of life!  That force is named the subconscious in modern times, but is more like the universal consciousness which Edgar Cayce propagated.  He said it before computers, and he was obviously onto something!  We should all plug into the universal consciousness to become better entities of our own existence.
There is still light, regardless of the predictions.  Maybe the change is something more subtle, which we know not, yet?  Maybe Igor and the force of creation will show us a prism of color, yet unseen!?
In any case, I must go to the studio tomorrow and draw my one line, paint my one hue....be true...

The World hasn't ended yet!

It's a great feeling to know that we are still alive...I didn't really think that we would die yet, but just in case...I didn't do anything!  Igor, my dearest brother, a true genius and saint gave me courage to face the new day and say, "I will not die today, I will face another Montreal winter, another crazy Christmas shopping spree at Rockland and  Marche Centrale,  another horde of dark haired Montrealers who complain about everthing, another year of living and creating!